Scientific Method Part 2

As explained last week some people feel that schools should be run more like businesses. Teachers should be evaluated by the performance of their students. Because of this I decided to conduct an experiment of my own to see the results. Here goes.

Hypothesis:

All students will score at the 70th percentile on today's math concept. Today's concept is VARIABLE. A variable is a letter that represents some thing or number in a math problem.

Procedure:

1. All students will have Math book open to page 66.

2. Each student will have a highlighter to highlight any math concept found in text.(Actually, we are sharing as the school has none. The highlighters came from a parent who stole them from her office.)

3. One student will read each sentence aloud in the word problem. ( I might be skewing the results because I am intentionally not calling on Ashkan, my non-English speaking student from Armenia.)
4. After sentence is read aloud, teacher will ask, "Does this sentence have a math concept in it?"; if it does not student reads the next sentence...and so on.
5. Once sentence with math concept is found, teacher will reinforce math concept by restating the information in a question for students to answer thus verifying comprehension of concept.

Observation:

Bobby reads sentence with math concept in it. "N equals the number of goats." Teacher now restates sentence as a question, "What does "N" equal? Juan?"

She notes:
Jack is snoring on his desk (he was out until 11pm with his family).
Mary can't find her book.

Bobby and Helen are passing notes.
Juan answers, "42"

Teacher now has student repeat reading sentence with math concept aloud and once again asks, "What does "N" represent in this sentence? Julie?"

Teacher also observes:

Mary still can't find her book.

Suzie is painting her nails with the highlighter.
Ashkan is staring blankly at the ceiling.
Julie looks to where Ashkan is staring, praying that is where the answer is.

One MORE time the teacher has student repeat, repeat reading sentence with the math concept in it. She rephrases clarifying question AGAIN, "N" is a variable, in this SENTENCE what does "N" stand for? Morton?"

Teacher watches as:
Mary gave up looking for book and is now wandering around room talking to friend.
Spike is crawling on floor looking for lid to highlighter.
Morton answers," Nebraska."

Conclusion:
I'm doomed
Enjoy.

Scientific Method Part 1

It seems that many people, much smarter than I am of course, feel that schools should be run like businesses. Teachers should be held accountable for their student's performances on standardized tests. If said students do not perform in the 70th percentile, these smarter people than I am believe that teachers should be put on probation with the final outcome being termination, should test scores dip again. Sounds good. Makes sense. In fact I'm sure there is some type of scientific study out there that has been done that proves what good sense it makes. After all, when students fail tests we all know it must be because teachers did not prepare them.

So I begin.

Businesses hire one executive who will supervise other adults, let's say as many 39 of them. They do this with the assistance of a secretary who will answer phones, make calls, fax, copy, write inner and outer office communications and possibly go get the dry cleaning. It is this executive's job to inspire these, as many as 39 adults, to support and expand the corporation's business philosophy.

These adults work together, make plans, are given the tools and supplies to carry out their plans, then begin supporting and expanding away. Normally the executive will be told the risks and consequences of a poor performance and what will happen if desired outcomes do not occur. This could possibly be a loss of pay, lower position or even lose their job altogether.

Got it. So now let's apply these same principles to elementary school.

School Districts hire one elementary school teacher who will supervise, as many as 39, children. Without the assistance of a secretary, they will make and return phone calls, fax, copy and write in and out of class communications and possibly go get the dry cleaning.

Unlike in the business world, said teacher will not be able to interview their future employees, I mean students. The teacher will simply "get what they get and not raise a fit." Tools and supplies that support the learning plan established by the state are at a scarcity as well.

Teachers will be expected to maintain the high standards and test scores of these students under the age of 11 in spite of the fact that: the child does not speak English, has learning disabilities, has so much more than learning disabilities ( our world is a full inclusion world- no child shall be isolated from his/her peers), a parent who left them, a parent who is terminally ill, has recently become homeless, has moved 3 times so far this year or... well, you get the picture-and so should every teacher.

So, now for the scientific experiment.



Feeling a little weak-to be continued next week.

Miss T

Hug O' War

So, I'm sitting in the eye doctor's office, drifting away not thinking about much, then suddenly I realize...man, my life is great. Well, ok, there were a few steps before I came to that conclusion and technically, I probably had to have a couple of thoughts in order to make that conclusion...but either way, in the end, I realized...man, my life is great.

Here is how it happened.

My eye doctor is a part of a big practice in a medical building downtown. Each year I visit to have my old peepers dilated and given the once over, medically speaking, of course. This year like the others, I sat in the waiting room-waiting. Not novel I agree but once I was seated for a few minutes, I started really checking out my environment.

The first thing I noticed was that there were no windows-none. After making that observation, I then continued to drill that point home with each new location I was taken to. Examination room-none, receptionist room- none, eye drop place-none. Everywhere I looked there were none, none, none.

I mean think of it, the staff there cannot tell if it is day or night, hot or cold, winter or summer. Their only reminder of the world outside is the tiny clock on their computer screens that flashes when it is time to go home. Yuck.

Having made that connection I next began noticing the interactions the people who worked there were having.

"No, Mr. Q that is NOT the proper insurance form and we do expect you to pay in advance."
"No, the doctor is not available at that time..."
"Please hold."
"Hello? Please hold."
"You have to speak louder!!" (something I do not believe I have EVER said in my job!)

And on and on. It almost felt confrontational with abrupt, stilted conversation.

In my world we are filled with words. There are times that we run out of time to tell all our stories we have so many words. Details, sound effects, animated faces, with hands and feet waving all at the same time.

In my world we certainly have times of conflict but I never cease to be amazed at how children will still open their arms to you right after. "Hello!" and hugs abound in an elementary school- almost to the point where you may take them for granted...unless you go to the eye doctor's office. Once there, you just might get your eyes opened in more ways than one! Enjoy.

I will not play at tug o'war.
I'd rather play at hug o'war,
Where everyone hugs
Instead of tugs,
Where everyone giggles
And rolls on the rug,
Where everyone kisses,
And everyone grins,
And everyone cuddles,
And everyone wins.

Shel Silverstein
from Where the Sidewalk Ends

Baby Blues

In they come, two darlings from more than 7 years ago. Each time I see them
(about twice a year) they appear to be so grown up and mature. Then, after a few moments together, I begin to see the faces of the little girls who were my charges for one full year. Each one still giggles in the same way, pokes her friend with the same finger pinch. It appears that not much has changed except their size and the size of the world they now live in.

We catch up. I hear of classes, teachers, boyfriends-boyhates. I hear what the latest trends are in school and what colleges they are thinking about. Then comes the pause. They look at each other, take a deep breath and begin.

"We have some news to tell you," one says.
"Yeah, it's about Sally," blurts the other.

Sally, having been the third part to this girly triangle, was always in the middle of their activities so I wasn't surprised to hear an update on their long time friend.

"She just had a baby last week. We're the god mothers."

I feel pain.

I have known this child since she was four and would come to pick up her older sister who was in my class. She was always a bubble, a free spirit. Full of life, in a life that was less structured than those around her. I feel helpless to help but still feel the need to express my sadness to the girls.

"You realize that you have a huge responsibility-not only to Sally but to her child?"

They nod.

"You need to help her make good choices when she asks, and sometimes when she doesn't."

They nod again.

"At 16 this is a pretty big task for both of you. I want you to know, that even if you are her support team- in the end, whatever happens, it is strictly up to Sally. We can only hope for the best."

We are all silent for a long time. Truly, what can you say?

We hug, kisses on the cheeks and they prepare to leave. As they do, one darling turns to the other..."This room seems so small now."

Yes, indeed. Their world had apparently grown, again... Enjoy?

I Just Love Your Child!

Each school year we have parent conferences. It's a time to meet with parents and discuss the overall progress that their child is making during the current school year. When I was a newer teacher I would feel apprehensive about the entire process. After all, there were times when I was younger than the parents themselves and I wanted to make a good impression as a teacher, a professional, as the guardian to their child each day. Now...not so much.

I mean, it's not that I don't care anymore it's just that, like my students, I have learned from my mistakes or omissions. Therefore, as time progressed so did my skills as a trained "conference-er". So much so that I now have my own checklist prepared and am able to gather the items necessary to ensure a successful pow-wow.

Sign-in sheet: Check.
Report card: Check.
Grade book: Check.
Work samples: Check.
Name of student BOLDLY in front of your face at all times: Having called someone's child the wrong name I now have created this simple solution...Check.
Kleenex: Sometimes for them, other times for me. HA! Thought I didn't think of it, huh? Check.
Aspirin: With the amount of students in my class this conference thing can go on FOREVER so you never know when a migraine can appear. Check.

So let the games begin!!!

After becoming a parent I realized that most everyone wants the best for their child academically but more importantly they want others to like their child. Parents hope other adults feel the wonder and awe that they do by (even if it isn't on a regular basis) just knowing their kid. It is because of this belief that I greet each parent with what I mean as a truly sincere statement, "I am so glad to see you, I just love your child." Sometimes I follow it up with a small anecdote that recently occurred or sometimes they in turn will share a clever ditty themselves. But one of the most memorable response I ever received was, "Really? I have never heard that before in my life. You know Bozo was expelled from his last school for putting a cherry bomb in his teacher's desk. She just never understood him." Ummmm, ok. Not sure I ever did either but the following day Bozo's mother treated me to some homemade jambalaya-yum! And, oh yeah, no cherry bombs that year either.

Either way, these conferences seem to bring out the agony and ecstasy of teaching and parenting and at those moments the twain shall meet-enjoy!

Input/Output

INPUT:

* tap...big brown eyes staring up at me
* I hope I 'm not bothering you but last night Johnny didn't...
*...so I wanted to let you know that Sally's anti-psychotic medicine still isn't working...
* taptap...big blue eyes staring up at me
* Miss T we were disappointed your attendance was in late yesterday because...
* ...therefore you need to be aware that David's father is NOT to pick him up...
* I've been too busy to let you know before, so here's the cake just cut it up whenever you think...You do have a knife and plates, don't you?
* taptaptap...2 sets of brown eyes staring
* .......BBBBBUUUUUURRRRRRRPPPPP!!!!!!!!.....
* You need to realize Miss T flushing logs are very important and need to be filled out on a....
* STOP IT!!! He's touching me!
* ...and we will be gone for 10 days starting tomorrow and need homework...
* Did you return the call from the therapist who wants you to...
* taptaptaptaptaptaptap...
* My daddy says that you...
* ...so she didn't have time to make me breakfast and said you should...
* I was throwing up all night last night but my daddy and mommy have to work.
* pull...taptaptaptaptaptaptap
* YUCK...somebody cut the cheese!!!!
*...did not, did too, did not, did too, did not, did too
* tug, pull...taptaptaptaptaptaptap
* Miss T? Miss T??

RRRRRRRRRINGGGGGGGGGG

OUTPUT:

Good morning my darlings, it is 8:00... let the day begin.

Enjoy!

Who Sprung the Spring?

Every year this happens and yet, once again, it has taken me completely off guard. Just like every day, I hop into my little zoom-zoom and putta-putta to school. Just like every other day I have more plans than the time it takes to complete them. And just like every other day my darling students appear anxious and excited to see me. But wait...

There's something today that seems amiss. No longer are my little darlings bright eyed and bushy tailed, ready to absorb my every word. No longer do I feel that lovely sense of calm and well-being inside. Oh no (sigh), not now. For now I know my lovely world has changed...somebody has sprung my entire classroom into Spring!

Ahh yes, Spring. That wonderful time when flowers bloom, birds sing... and elementary school aged children turn into bumbling idiots. Too soon you say? They're much too young for such feelings to be aroused? Well, think again.

You'd think I would have remembered the general course of events that occur during a school year simply because I have been through this a couple DOZEN times. I mean, even Pavlov's dog figured out the routine after a few dinner bells. But no. I swear, I fall for it year after year after year. Sincere teacher, doing her best to keep the kiddies happy (secretly thinking she is at the homestretch of another school year) and BLAMO!!! Spring has sprung.

I was sharing this comment with a fellow colleague. She explained that she too was noticing the "boy meets girl" action in her classroom as well. But what I learned from her is that Spring is international and crosses through all cultures. For example, she has a student who is from Japan and does not speak a work of English (don't even get me going on the upcoming state test and YES she is still expected to have him score proficient or better-HA!) anyway, a little girl in her class said the boy from Japan was her boyfriend. When asked how she knew that, since the child speaks absolutely no English- the girl said, "He pointed to me, made a heart figure with his hands and put it on his chest." AWE! Now even I think that's cute!

So pull out the posies it's time to feel love renewed-enjoy!